North Korean attitudes toward traditional family values appear to be changing rapidly with the prolonging of COVID-19 quarantine measures. According to one of Daily NK’s sources, more people choose cohabitation over marriage, and divorces are also on the rise.
A source in North Pyongan Province told Daily NK in a phone call on Mar. 10 that “people are choosing cohabitation over marriage because more men find themselves unable to fulfill their role [as the family’s main breadwinner], due to the COVID-19 situation and sanctions against North Korea.” He added that “in Sinuiju, [it has become so common that] people end up living together right away if they like each other.”
Many businesses in North Korea have virtually shut down entirely due to COVID-19 and sanctions. As a result, a lot of men are unable to make a decent living. The source said that “women are choosing to live together [with their partners] instead of marrying due to economic problems.” He added that “this reflects women’s concerns they will have to take responsibility for their incompetent husbands in the future.
“People consider it more modern to live together instead of getting married,” the source noted, adding that, “A lot of people just get their marriage licenses at a later stage if they end up having children.”
Some may perceive North Korean women’s preference for cohabitation over marriage as a wise choice and an example of their progressiveness. Women with economic power seem to be changing the norm for marriages in the country.
The difficulty in getting a divorce is also considered one reason why more North Korean women prefer to cohabitate. A ruling from a “people’s court” is required to divorce in North Korea. Only severe cases of domestic violence or ideological disagreements are accepted as valid reasons for divorce, while general family disagreements such as adultery are excluded.
According to the source, “the expensive costs of litigation and social stigmatization of divorcees also play a role [in driving people away from marriage].
“Women with economic means have recently been able to file divorces through the use of bribes,” he added.
The source noted that “the number of divorce cases in families is rising rapidly,” further explaining that “women have more actively pushed for divorce in the last three years as many men were unable to earn proper money and have became burdens on their wives.”
According to him, “women are borrowing money to divorce because they are suffering [in their marriages]” and that “the cost of divorce through bribes to people’s courts varies and can range from 500 to thousands of US dollars.”
The source further explained that “women who wish to divorce first pay bribes to their lawyers, who then pass the money on to the judge and the people’s assessors [lay judges],” adding that, “[After this process], the divorce can be finalized easily.”
According to him, “there is a difference in people’s ability to divorce depending on wealth and location“ and that “because 500 USD is a large amount of money, women who divorce are those who already have some money from before or are able to borrow.”
He further noted that “a considerable amount of women divorce in this way, and because these women move out as soon as the divorce is finalized, plenty of men are left behind on their own.”
According to the source, there are some men who have become live-in housekeepers in the houses of recently divorced women.
He elaborated that “some men [the housekeepers] receive RMB 300 [around USD 46] per month to cook for and tend to the sexual demands of the divorced women.” He noted that “because the world is in a state of chaos, there are too many cases of families breaking apart.”
On the other hand, while demands for divorce are growing among North Korean women, the opposite is true for the more anachronistic (traditional) North Korean men.
“Some men explain the growing demand for divorce among North Korean women as due to economic troubles making it more difficult to control women,” the source said. “There are also those who attribute it to increased ‘ideological openness.’”
North Korean men’s perception of women remains rooted in feudal patriarchy. There is no reflection on the severity of human rights violations faced by women, such as the grave domestic violence issue in the country. The contrast with North Korean women is distinct, as they break away from patriarchal values in an attempt to improve the rights they enjoy.
*Translated by Vilde Olaussen
