The relatives of North Korean defectors are now considered some of the country’s best candidates for marriage, reflecting changes in marriage preferences as economic difficulties have worsened since the COVID-19 pandemic.
“More and more people are asking matchmakers to fix them up with the relatives of defectors,” a source told Daily NK on Friday, speaking on condition of anonymity for security reasons. “When the matchmakers introduce somebody, the first thing the client asks is if they have relatives sending money from South Korea.”
“In the past, the most eligible bachelors were university students with mobile phones and motorcycles. People from business families, families that made batteries for cargo trucks, or security personnel, soldiers or trading company employees were also popular marriage partners, but now, defector relatives are the best.”
In other words, while people with power or money were preferred marriage material in the past, relatives of defectors — particularly defectors who have settled in South Korea — are now at the top of the list.
The source said this is because the perception has set in that relatives of North Korean defectors who can receive lots of money from their kin in South Korea are economically better off than traders or businesspeople.
In the past, the relatives of defectors were often discriminated against as family members of “traitors,” but recently, they have become the object of envy due to their relative economic well-being.
More North Korean families also hold simpler marriage ceremonies as economic troubles have worsened due to COVID-19.
“In the old days, they used to hold separate marriage ceremonies at the bride’s and groom’s homes, and they would invite their neighbors over to eat noodles and dance all night, but now, they just hold one marriage ceremony,” the source said. “And they often invite only close friends and family to the ceremony to eat a meal, take photos and go home.”
Families without money also hold mock wedding ceremonies where they put models of food on the wedding table and rent traditional wedding attire for photos.
In the process, wedding costs have fallen. “In the past, people spent up to RMB 30,000 [around USD 4,237] on weddings, but now, they hold them for just RMB 3,000 [around USD 423].”
The source said that the so-called five closets (clothes closet, blanket closet, cupboard, bookshelf and shoe closet) and six appliances (TV, refrigerator, washing machine, recorder, camera and fan) newlywed couples were expected to have “are a thing of the past.”
He told Daily NK that young people are waiting longer to get married, too. In the past, North Korean women got married between the ages of 23 and 26, but nowadays, many women remain unmarried even past the age of 30.
“Unmarried women are living alone in every neighborhood, earning money in the market past the age of 30,” the source said. “Because earning money is more important nowadays, many young people believe they don’t need to get married right away.”
Translated by David Black. Edited by Robert Lauler.
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