[imText1]Under a burning sun, I headed to Toegye-dong, Chuncheon, a city in Gangwon-do, South Korea.
A heartbreaking story of two lovers lives in Chuncheon. Lee Sun Im (43) is a defector living with husband Kim Young Shik (47) in a rented apartment.
When I ring the bell, the door opens carefully. A thin body tells me that he isn’t from South Korea. It is the husband, Kim. The apartment looks darker because of the direct sunlight. I can sense the ‘sickbed atmosphere’ from his high cheekbones.
“Hello, I’m Yu Gwan Hee,” I explain. “I called you before.”
Kim heads back to the room without a word. Lee, on the other hand, still has a hint of life in her voice.
“Come on in,” she says. “It must have been really hard for you to come all the way out here on such a hot day.”
The room reveals the presence of a long-term patient in the family; bedclothes with a water bottle on top, and a small table.
“How long have you been in South Korea?” Lee starts to speak as I ask the question.
Lee came to South Korea in December of 2008. She has a 3rd degree disability; her right hand, in contrast with her cheerful face, is in terrible condition. Her thumb and middle finger are paralyzed. Half an index finger is all she has. Her ring finger and little finger are gone. She says she worked in a tile factory in North Korea. One day at work, she met a horrible accident. Her right hand got caught up in a mixing machine. She nearly died of blood loss, but survived.
It is difficult for people with disabilities to live in North Korea. When famine swept North Korea in the late 90s, Lee had no choice but to cross the Tumen River. In addition to the label ‘chao xian ren (literally ‘Chosun person’), her right hand always drew the attention of the Chinese people. But she didn’t give in and worked very hard. From farm work to street vendor, she experienced everything a person could with the exception of working the streets.
Her diligence did not change even in South Korea. In her early days, she baked bread and took orders from customers. Many of her friends at Hanawon envied her for it.
A man was watching her at that time. Her husband, Kim, was that man. They met each other last November. Kim approached her first. Sharing a sense of nostalgia which can only be felt between defectors, they eventually became close.
“We officially started going out this February. Then, on March 28th, I went to the church and decided I had to marry him. So I packed all my baggage and went to him. When I make a decision, I go for it without further thought. I don’t regret anything about my past choices. I still think I was right to marry him.”
It was last February when her husband settled in Chuncheon. He, like any other defector, came to South Korea via a third country, completed his education at Hanawon and was allotted a rental apartment, the one they are living in right now. His life was ordinary. He worked at a construction site in the morning and occasionally met with his hometown friends for a drink. Kim said his life was the happiest at that time. However, his simple happiness didn’t last long.
When Kim was in the 3rd country, he had a history of tuberculosis. However, no symptoms were found in a physical immediately after his arrival in South Korea. However, last July, he caught a sudden flu. When his medicine didn’t seem to work, he visited a doctor. His doctor delivered shocking news. It was 3rd degree lung cancer.
He had one third of his lung cut out on his doctor recommendation. Horrible chemotherapy continued until this April. He was worn out, both physically and mentally. He had risked his life to cross the Tumen River and come to South Korea, but his destiny had given him more than he could handle. Not able to make a living is like a ‘death sentence’ for defectors living in South Korea. In such depressing times, his only hope was his wife.
Of course, Lee did hesitate. However, she had fallen for her husband’s personality and did not change her mind.
“Of course I had dreams. I’m a woman too. When I came to South Korea, I had high hopes of meeting a healthy husband and living a life like a ‘human being,’” she says. “I was determined that I would do anything to love a man who could accept my right hand. But I realized that I needed him. And that he needed me too.”
Kim has finished his chemotherapy now, but the cancer could spread any time. The aftereffects of chemotherapy make it difficult for him to live his everyday life, let alone work. Lee has chosen a husband whom she cannot even nag, and is taking care of him just as she would a child.
Every day of Lee’s life is busy. There is so much to do now that she’s taking care of her husband and working at the same time. Every two days, she works for four hours as a home help for elderly people living alone. Four hours of work provide her with about twenty thousand won. She also works as a janitor at a pension for five hours a day. It takes an hour to get to the pension she works at, and she earns five thousand won per hour. However, she feels thankful for what she has now.
Lee’s only hope is to spend more time with her husband. Leaving her husband behind at home distracts her from work. But she has to make a living. The only fixed income they get is the basic monthly subsidy the government provides for defectors, four hundred thousand won each, and disability benefit of thirty thousand won. In total, they get eight hundred and thirty thousand won a month. The rest of the expenses, Lee has to cover.
“Lung cancer patients should eat well. I want to earn more money so that my husband can get healthy and we can have our own house. I have to work hard while I’m still healthy,” she says.
One day in June, Kim went back to a construction site he used to work at. He thought to himself, “I can’t just stay home when my disabled wife is working all day.” However, after just 3 days of work, he collapsed. He was already out of breath. People told him to stop working because “it could get even worse.”
“There is a vacant store in our apartment complex. I’m planning to earn more money and start a small business,” Lee explains. “If my husband can stay with me while I’m working, I’ll have to worry less than I do now.”
Will her dream come true? Recently her husband’s symptoms have been getting worse. The pain in the back of his head is getting more severe and he often gets out of breath. He can swallow only about two spoonfuls of food each mealtime.
“I hope my husband doesn’t get any sicker than he is now,” Lee says. “I’m fine with what we have now. We don’t make a lot of money and there’s nothing to show off, but I hope he can enjoy his life until the day he leaves me. I want my husband to feel comfortable in my arms till his last day on earth.”
Lee, who has experienced both sorrow and hope, has the ability to turn the sadness of reality into hope for the future. I fight to stop myself from breaking down throughout the interview. However, my lame sympathy has nowhere to stand in front of her calm, determined words.
As I open the door of the apartment after the interview, the sun is declining toward the west. I look back to say goodbye and see red sunlight shining on the couple’s room. It is delicate and warm, like Lee’s love for her husband.
Lee says goodbye with a big smile on her face, “Please don’t make our story sound so depressing. We’ll be fine.”
