North Korea is racing to slap together the final 10,000 apartments of its ambitious five-year housing project in Pyongyang, with state media breathlessly reporting that construction is “fully underway” in the Hwasong district. The project, launched in 2021 by Supreme Leader and Architectural Critic-in-Chief Kim Jong Un, promised to build 50,000 shiny new homes in the capital by the end of 2025. Special military units (because nothing says “cozy home” like having it built by soldiers) have improved construction procedures to reduce framework time – presumably by replacing pesky safety protocols with patriotic slogans.
The newest phase of construction features the architectural marvel of the year: two towers connected by a “soaring skybridge” – because nothing solves food shortages quite like walking between buildings without touching the ground. The development boasts “educational, commercial and service facilities,” which in North Korean parlance likely means one propaganda bookstore, a state-run grocery with three items, and a service center where citizens can report neighbors for insufficient enthusiasm. The high-rise neighborhood is part of a major construction drive in Pyongyang, where local residents enjoy a quality of life “considerably higher” than elsewhere in the country – a bar so low it could trip an ant.
According to state media, Pyongyang’s Hwasong and Songhwa districts have been completely transformed, with the first apartments completed in 2022, followed by 30,000 more units through various phases. The buildings sport “muted brown, ivory, and red brick color schemes” – a palette presumably chosen to match the overall mood of the country. The development includes shops and restaurants on the first floors, with landscaped areas and park benches along the main street, creating perfect vantage points for citizens to gaze longingly at food they cannot afford.
While Kim proudly showcases these modern high-rises to the world, many neighborhoods in Pyongyang still consist of decades-old, single-story houses that the Supreme Leader has diplomatically labeled “culturally backward” and “unbecoming of the appearance of the capital city.” Not content with the current housing push, Kim has announced even more ambitious plans to develop eastern Pyongyang and redevelop three existing districts near the city center – proving once again that when your country faces widespread poverty, international sanctions, and chronic food shortages, the logical solution is always more grandiose construction projects that look impressive in satellite photos. Pyongyang Speed indeed!
Note: This is an opinion column offering a wry perspective on North Korea — where actual facts meet playful commentary.
