On a late night many years ago, Kim Kyong Nam (alias for a
North Korean defector, aged 38) asked a waiter in a soup restaurant for a glass
of water with his meal. The waiter nonchalantly responded, “Water is
self-serve.”
Kim became baffled and disconcerted when the water never
came, wondering if he was being discriminated against due to his North Korean
accent.
The incident stuck with him for a significant period of
time, as he felt that he had been discriminated against. He confessed that
after the incident, he felt that South Korean society was backwards and
prejudiced.
It has been five years since Kim settled in South Korea and
he says that the misunderstandings have all been resolved. Now he understands
that he had simply not understood the South Korean expression ‘self-serve,’ as
it borrows the literal word ‘self’ from English.
“I could have searched for it on my smartphone but
didn’t do it at the time. I found it very difficult to settle in at first
because we don’t use many loanwords in North Korea,” he told Daily NK.
Other defectors have also described their difficulties with
the South Korean penchant for using an honorific style of language to
communicate. Choi Young Hwa (alias, aged 42) said, “It was not easy
to get used to the deferential terms used to ask for something or urge someone
to dig into their meal. In North Korea, such connotations are only used in
reference to the Suryong (Supreme Leader).”
In North Korea, the word ‘teacher’ literally refers to a
school instructor, while in South Korea it is often expanded to express respect
towards any adult. Choi says that she was very surprised when people referred
to her as a teacher. She was determined to settle in smoothly with South Korean
society, and was at first obsessive in using honorific words without properly
understanding the correct context or nuances. This led to some embarrassing
mistakes, like inadvertently referring to herself with an honorific when trying
to respond politely to her interlocutor.
Choi also says that it’s even more embarrassing to be called
‘Choi Ssam (a friendly abbreviation of ‘teacher’ in the South Korean
vernacular). The word ‘Ssam’ is a title that has a mixed meaning of respect and
friendliness in South Korea, but in North Korea, to call a teacher ‘Ssam’ is
conversely regarded as an insult.
Such misunderstandings are a frequent occurrence in the
early days of settlement for many North Korean defectors. Park Kyong Ae (alias,
aged 41) added, “At first, I felt insulted when I heard the word ‘Hul (an
exclamation usually used when something unexpected happens).’ It felt like they
were deliberately using strange words to mock me.”
“Because some years have passed since I arrived here,
and because I’m living with my young son now, I’ve learned a lot more about
these strange words. Now I even use words like ‘Matjum (abbreviation for good
lunch),’ and ‘fighting (Korean cheer of encouragement).'”
“In South Korea, you can easily find foreign words and loanwords in the
streets and on shop signs. Misunderstandings can happen when one is not
familiar with the meaning of these words. I hope that all defectors can receive
suitable education to avoid embarrassing incidents,” Park added.
