Defection has wrought big changes in many North Korean households. Acts of defection usually result in families becoming divided or disintegrating. According to the Ministry of Unification, the percentage of women among the more than 20,000 North Korean defectors in South Korea has exceeded that of men since 2002, now approaching 75%. Of all the women included in the data, over half have spouses or children still in the North. The statistics for North Korean defectors living in other countries such as China are thought to be similar.
The defection of women with family in North Korea has in most cases resulted in the disintegration of those families. This is related to the fact that ever since the mid-1990s, women have been the primary source of income for most families, either as merchants or other occupations. According to the “White Paper on Human Rights in North Korea in 2010”, published by the Korean Bar Association based on interviews with 200 North Korean defectors, 70.5% of women replied that they had previously been responsible for the household finances.
Of course, the defection of women who had economically supported their respective households leaves husbands with a new weight of responsibility, one they are ill-equipped to bear.
Worsening economic terms have essentially forced the North Korean authorities to coerce men to stay at their officially sanctioned workplaces so to keep their grip on the North Korean people in spite of being unable to pay their wages or hand out rations since most factories are idle or working at vastly reduced capacity. Even if that were not so, the official wage, 5,000 won per month, would not support a family.
Sources in the North say that this situation necessitates most husbands starting new families. One source in North Hamkyung province explained, “Most of the men whose wives are reported missing start new families”.
The government does not see divorce as an honorable act, stipulating in Article 20, Clause 2 of the Family Law that a divorce can only be granted through court proceedings. Furthermore, it regulates divorce by way of policy, by imposing limits on acceptable conditions for divorce and setting a high stamp duty on the act.
However, divorce is supposedly more easily obtained during elections for the Supreme People’s Assembly or, of course, through bribery.
Kim, a woman who arrived in South Korea in 2010, explained her situation, saying, “I heard that my husband lived with a new acquaintance for about two years before applying to the People’s Safety Ministry for a marriage license during the election to the Supreme People’s Assembly in 2008. If you register during an election, you can get a divorce without having to go through unnecessary procedures.”
Lee, who came to South Korea in 2009 added, “When elections are not on, you can bribe the civil registration department of the Safety Ministry with cigarettes or alcohol, then tell them that your wife is ‘missing’. They will then erase her name and replace it with that of the new woman.”
Previously, reporters of missing persons were subject to further interrogation as to the whys and wherefores of the incident, but with an ever growing number of such cases, internal sources say that the agents do not ask the specifics any longer.
Of course, with a growing number of husbands starting new families, the issue of raising children is becoming a societal problem. Oh, a 38-year old female who defected from the North last May, said that her husband has dumped their daughter at her elder sister’s house and is now living with another woman.
Children are usually left under the watch of other women. Most husbands apparently send them to the relatives of their former wives. Naturally, it is hard for those relatives to welcome another mouth to feed.
Meanwhile, the husbands ask defecting wives for money on account of their children. A survey conducted by the Database Center for North Korean Human Rights has revealed that around half of all North Korean defectors residing in South Korea send money to family in the North. Cases of a defector raising her own child are few and far between.
Kim Sun Hee, who is 34, said, “My husband in the North married another woman and sent our 7-year old to my mother. Whenever he needs money, he has her talk to me, and listening to my daughter’s voice breaks my heart.” She added, “I feel sorry for my young daughter. I am hurt and I feel remorse when I think of how much she suffers, having to go from place to place because of money. My current feelings are such that I would like to bring my daughter here, even if that meant having to go to the North to kidnap her.”
Choi, who defected in 2009, said, “I have a 11-year old daughter back home. I send all the money I earn here over to the North. I have a sense of remorse for my children, so I have no qualms about sending them the money.”
That said, Choi’s husband in the North currently lives with another woman, too, so it is uncertain whether the money she sends actually goes to her daughter. However, she continues to send the money because there is no other choice. The majority of North Korean women in South Korea are in a similar predicament.
