[imText1]I am currently living by myself in South Korea, but I had a complete family once. Born as the last of four daughters in Chongjin, I spent a harmonious childhood. My father worked in a factory which made cereal machine and my mother imported Chinese clothes and sold them.
My father who was a clear Party member devoted himself to his company and even a picture with my father and Kim Il sung shaking hands hung in our home. The photo is supposed to be taken from the time he entered the National Laborer Competition as the representative of Chongjin.
However, even though we possessed such a shining picture and he had worked hard in the factory, we did not receive any rations in the 90s. It became my mother’s responsibility to lead our family’s economy.
My mother would complain to my father, “Why would you work so hard when they don’t even give us rations,” to which he would always reply, “I am scared of the children hearing,” and become silent afterwards. However, he had to continue going to the factory if he wanted to avoid punishment.
My Mother’s Empty Spot
Our home which was so peaceful started becoming sorrow-filled when my mother came down with abdominal dropsy, a condition where the liver becomes replete with water. In order to treat her, we had to spend not only our savings, but sell every piece of furniture in the house. My mother finally passed away in June 1993 when I was 10 years old.
Afterwards, our household had to struggle with poverty. We lived like that for several years, but finally sold our house in order to have something to eat. Without a place to live, we stayed at places like the factory break-rooms.
With the exception of myself who could not work because of my young age, my sisters all had to go out and work. My first sister worked in a mill, my second sister worked in a trade company affiliated with China, but when the company collapsed, she was back at home. My third sister worked in copper sales, and it was considerably dangerous work. Because copper is national property, it was a valuable commodity, which was difficult to buy and sell. However, what fed and kept us going was my third sister’s copper business. Even then, life was still difficult.
Finally, Kim Il Sung Portrait Touched
One day, when there was nothing to eat, our family who had gone without several meals finally put our hands to something which should not have been touched. My father took out the glass from Kim Il Sung’s portrait and sold it. It was a crime for which one could have receive a life sentence, but at that time, people sold everything which could be sold. We could not put the portrait above our sustenance.
Some time later, the factory manager came and told us that someone had reported us. We could not stay in North Korea anymore.
Fortunately, at that time, a woman who had helped smuggle goods to China when my sister was in the copper business, had suggested that we go to China. The woman said China was much better off than North Korea and strongly insisted that we cross over to China to live there. Because we had touched Kim Il Sung’s portrait, our hands were tied behind our backs. All of our family members crossed the Tumen River following the woman. That was September 21st, 1998. That was the day I lost my family.
Eight people, including the woman and two women in their 30s as well as the five members of my family, crossed the river, and we spent the night at a house to which the woman led us. However, my father and I slept elsewhere due to the lack of space.
When I woke up, all of my sisters had disappeared. I found out later that the woman was a sex trafficker. Even my father was captured three months later in December and sent back to North Korea. I was left completely all alone in the world.
My Entire Family Scattered….I Defected Alone
I was 15 years old at the time, when there was nothing I could do and no place to depend on. Fortunately, I could receive help through a church. From then on, I lived in the house of a youth pastor until October 2001.
However, in October, I was captured by the Chinese police officers. Since then, I was captured four more times and two of those times, I escaped while being escorted and once, they let me go when I gave them money. However, I was sent back to North Korea the last time.
After being sent back, I was severely hit. I was investigated regarding whether or not I met South Koreans and was exposed to Christianity, but I held out until the end, because I had heard a countless times that the moment I say yes, I will fall into a more severe punishment.
I really don’t know how severely I was hit. I would come to my senses after being slapped and after being continuously hit in the shins with the heel of shoes, my legs became so swollen that it was torture even to look at them. However, I could luckily withstand the torture until the end and was detained at an orphanage-like place.
It was an orphanage by name, but really was an unimaginable place. They told us to sleep on the cold concrete floor in the middle of the winter, so I was speechless. They gave us something powder-like for food, but I could not tell what it was.
I could not stay there, so I escaped without a plan to Tumen River while out cutting fire woods. I jumped into the River, but almost died because I could not swim. When I jumped into the River, I was filled with thoughts of going to China, but the terror of death seized me. I was recaptured while completely drenched in water.
But I escaped again. This time, I did not have the confidence of crossing the River, so I decided to wait until it froze. I headed towards my mother’s relatives’ home by hailing a train to Aoji. There, I waited until the river froze in the middle of December. I also heard the news of my father. He passed away while imprisoned. That was the last I heard of my family.
Subsequently, after I had crossed the frozen Tumen River, I received the help of a missionary and came to South Korea through Thailand in 2002.
I have become a college student in South Korea and my life is not so difficult now. While attending college, my studies are difficult, but I am doing well and am happy with campus life. However, sometimes, I yearn for the time when my family lived together. In Chongjin, we had less than what I have now, but I loved being able to eat together as a family. Now, I am sad that I cannot do this.
I am curious about my sisters who are somewhere in China. If they come to South Korea, the National Intelligence Service will contact me, but whether that call will come is yet to be known.
