Housewives in the city of Hyesan are in fine spirits after many of their husbands began spontaneously helping with chores after returning from work, Daily NK has learned.
Speaking on condition of anonymity for security reasons, a source in Yanggang Province told Daily NK on Oct. 23 that “men who had previously done nothing outside their workplaces have, as if by some secret agreement, suddenly started helping their wives around the home after they return from work. In response, Hyesan housewives have been smiling and joking, ‘did the sun rise from the West this morning?’”
The idea that wives are responsible for everything in the home while men just need to focus on performing well at work is a deeply entrenched belief in North Korean society. Even physically challenging tasks like chopping firewood and making charcoal briquettes are usually done by wives without any help from their husbands.
However, the social atmosphere appears to have shifted and now men are stepping up to do housework, much to the elation of their wives.
“To give you just a sense of how hard women work when they marry into their husband’s house, a common way to greet a newly married woman is to joke, ‘I see you’ve started your sentence at the labor camp.’ So [you can understand why] this phenomenon of men leaving work early and helping their wives at home has become a major topic in town.”
Following the Arduous March, women became responsible not just for housework and child-rearing, but also for the household’s economic activities. These men who have not lifted a finger to help their wives in the past have recently made a 180-degree pivot, to the immense surprise of their wives. Many women have returned from spending their day making money in the market to find that their husbands have returned home first and are waiting for them after wiping the floors and even making dinner.
One woman in Hyesan remarked, “My husband only thought about his job and couldn’t live without booze and cigarettes, so I deeply regretted marrying him. But recently, he’s completely quit drinking and smoking and has been doing housework. When I saw him even helping wash the kids up after getting home from work, I wondered to myself ‘is he dying?’ I’ve worked myself to the bone to get us through food shortages and economic hardships for years, and it seems like now my husband has finally grown up.”
Another woman shared how an incident that deeply moved her. “A few days ago, I went to the market and when I came back in the evening my husband greeted me, telling me ‘you’ve worked hard’ and ‘it’s cold outside, go take a seat over the heater,’ I started crying. It’s the first time he’s said anything acknowledging how hard I’ve worked in the 20 years since we moved in together, and I felt like all of the anger and tension that had accumulated over the years just melted away.”
“There’s a strongly held belief in North Korean society that men should be served and waited on inside the home,” the source went on to explain. “It’s taken for granted that women should do everything in their power to feed their families and otherwise take care of the household. But [perhaps] after witnessing the way their wives scratched and clawed to keep their families from starving to death during Covid, men’s [attitudes] are changing.
“During COVID-19, families suffered from dire economic difficulties that threatened their very livelihoods, so much so that it appears to have started to change husbands who had been stuck in their ways for decades and brought new warmth to the household. If things stay this way, I expect there will be fewer young people hesitating to get married.”
Translated by Rose Adams. Edited by Robert Lauler.
Daily NK works with a network of sources who live inside North Korea, China and elsewhere. Their identities remain anonymous due to security concerns. More information about Daily NK’s reporting partner network and information gathering activities can be found on our FAQ page here.
Please direct any comments or questions about this article to dailynkenglish@uni-media.net.
