From that time, Cho started bringing me candies or fruits, and even protected me from bullies. I also began hanging out with Yun Byeong Seon, and was touched by his personality. When kids in the town had a fight, he knew right from wrong. Whenever someone was sick, he carried that person home on his back.
Before summer vacation, every student had to carry a load of weeds to school to make compost for use on the school farm. Everyday there was a thorough inspection, and teachers graded us. There were twins in our town, and they went to school along with us. Their father was a carpenter and there were times when he came to our house to fix things. Anyway, the twins got malaria while all of us were busy making the compost.
When Byeong Seon saw the two of them carrying loads of weeds but clearly in pain, he offered to carry theirs to school. He sweated so hard. Seeing that, I thought it was only right that he be the leader among us. From then on, I never complained about his interference and childish orders.
Speaking of sickness, I was very sickly from a young age. In winter I practically lived with the flu. In summer, on the other hand, I suffered from an unreasonable fever. As I got older my health did improve a little, but I was still very sickly.
When I became a 5th grader, my brother got married. After that, even with his wife waiting for him at home, he often said he was busy with work and did not go home. Sometimes he didn’t go home for days. When I was in 6th grade his earnings must have gotten a lot better, because he always wore a suit whenever he visited us. Back then only rich people could afford to wear a suit. He was working at a life insurance company in Pyongyang. He used to say very proudly that his talents were widely recognized even though he was the only elementary school graduate in his office.
Elementary school graduation was ahead of me, too. I wanted to enter a college of education and become a teacher. My grades were good enough to go, too. However, I had to give it up when I was diagnosed with red-green color blindness. A guidance teacher told me that a commercial school was much better for me, trying to be of comfort.
There was another one who suggested that I enter a commercial school. It was my brother. He was totally supporting himself and had already brought his wife to Pyongyang then. He offered to pay some of my tuition fees.
Consequently, I submitted an application to Pyongyang Commercial School in the spring of 1937. This school had both Korean and Japanese students, and was not very big. Every year they admitted 25 Koreans and 25 Japanese. Students who went to commercial school, regardless of nationality, were not from rich families. Japanese students were usually children of merchants, and Korean students were mostly from low-income families who dared not dream of college. They were all thinking of just getting a job after graduation. It was relatively easy for Japanese to enter the school. For Koreans, however, it was extremely difficult.
After I got my letter of acceptance, I fell sick for two months. I was so sick that not only could I not go to my entrance ceremony, but I also couldn’t go to school for a month right after the school year started. I was worried that I might get kicked out, so I explained to my teacher that I was really sick. As if he immediately understood it just by looking at my face, he gave me my school uniform and leather shoes.
My schoolmates had already studied English during my absence. They were good at using the abacus too. However, I had just recovered from my illness, and I was also commuting to school by train, which made me extremely tired. For these reasons, I was left behind in my studies. My brother was in Pyongyang, but I still commuted to school by train. It was about 20 kilometers from Seungho-ri to Pyongyang, and the train stations in between were as follows; Seungho-ri, Ipsuk, Cheongyong, Mirim, Sadong and then Pyongyang. I did not go to Seungho-ri but instead walked about 2 kilometers to Ipsuk, caught the train there, got off at Sadong and then transferred to a streetcar to school.
Just like in elementary school, I was busy trying to catch up in art, music and physical education. Other students had a habit of cramming for their exams. I don’t know whether it was because they were going to a school in a city, or that they were commercial school students. When the finals were ahead, they tried their best to get good grades. I, on the other hand, could not do so. In the end, I ranked 30th out of 50 students.
It was unexpected, humiliating and, most of all, hurt my ego so badly. Ashamed, I showed my report card to Father. But he accepted it calmly.
“You’ll catch up soon. Don’t worry about it.”
During the summer vacation I practiced my abacus calculations most of the time, because it was one of my weakest subjects. When the vacation was over, my teacher complimented me for my improvement. My grade in 2nd semester jumped to 22nd. But my abacus calculation made big advances, and I soon started competing for the top rank in math class. I wanted to be on top, at least in abacus calculation, so I joined abacus calculation club in order to practice as much as I could after school. I made a goal of my own to become a representative of Pyongyang Commercial School. My school was famous for its excellence in abacus calculation. Its fame was known across the whole country, even as far as Manchuria. In the national competition, it won the championship for 5 years straight, which was why the school treated abacus calculators very well.
In my 3rd year I won the championship, and the fact was published in a newspaper issued by Pyongyang Chamber of Commerce. A national competition was held twice a year in Seoul. Once sponsored by Seoul Commercial School and once sponsored by a Japanese bank, The Shokusan Bank.
I joined the Seoul competition as the representative of my school. However, I lost to a senior whom I had beaten in the school competition. It was the final round of the competition. I analyzed the reason why I lost, and came to the conclusion that it was because I was fainthearted and timid and that I would have to train my mentality. So I often went to Pyongyang Library to get the books I needed for my mental training.
At the library, I met my elementary schoolmates, who were by now in middle school. They said they often came to library to study for their college entrance exam. But I found something strange in their attitudes. When we were all in elementary school I was far more advanced than them, and they recognized my talent too. However, they were looking down on me after a long time. They were also unwilling to acknowledge that I was rising to distinction in abacus calculation.
It turned out that they were looking down on commercial school itself. They were preparing to enter college with high hopes. When they were in elementary school, they did not do that well. But after entering middle school, the way they thought changed deeply.
The first few times, I was offended by their arrogant attitude. Then there came a realization. Maybe I would have to live as someone else’s accountant forever and die that way.
