Participants in the 3rd Korean Peninsula Table Tennis Competition pose at the Sinwol Culture and Sports Center in Seoul on November 2nd. Image: Daily NK

“I used to be on the national table tennis team in North Korea, but my husband and son starved to death in front of my own eyes. On the day that I just collapsed on the floor with no energy to even cry waiting for my own death, that’s when I lost my dignity. Today for the first time in 25 years, here in South Korea, I’m so happy to have won my pride back.”

These are words from Kim Hyang Hui [alias], a former North Korean professional table tennis player, who defected to the South and won the 3rd Korean Peninsula Table Tennis Competition sponsored by the Global Peace Festival Foundation [GPF], which took place on Sunday in Seoul.

Born in South Hamgyung Province, Kim was recognized by the Hamheung Sapo District Physical Culture and Sports Guidance Committee for her talent as a table tennis player at age 10. At 14, she entered the Pyongyang City Sports Club and made it on to the national team, where she rubbed shoulders with the North’s table tennis sensation Ri Pun Hui. However, despite her talent, due to her songbun [family political background and loyalty], Kim was faced with the misfortune of never getting to compete in an international game.

Kim’s mother was a Korean-Japanese who came to the North in the ‘60s, ostensibly under the controversial “Homecoming Project,” run by Chongryon, the de facto North Korean representative in Japan; her father’s parents lived in China. With the money sent from relatives in Japan and China, her parents invested in her talent in the hopes she would become a national team member. However, as it became evident her parents’ songbun would hold her back, her mother died after suffering from emotional turmoil.

Eventually, after some ten years on the court, Kim wrapped up her career and returned home but decided to escape the country after enduring the Arduous March, the North Korean famine of 1994-1998.

Daily NK had the chance to sit down with her on Monday at a cafe in Seoul. Her face will remain undisclosed, as she still has family in the North. It may be an amateur competition that she won, but Kim still openly celebrated her victory, saying it feels like she has regained the pride she lost as an athlete for the first time in 25 years.

Daily NK [DNK]: How did you start table tennis?

Kim Hyang Hui [KIM]: I can’t talk about table tennis without mentioning my mother. My mother used to let me do whatever I wanted. When I was nine, we were watching a table tennis game on television, and I said “I’d like to play table tennis as well.” My mother got me into the Hamheung Sapo District Physical Culture and Sports Guidance Committee table tennis club.

My mother had returned to the North in the 1960s on the first Mangyongbong ferry, and she invested the money her siblings to sent her in me. The reason why I was able to get through the extremely intensive training from 7a.m. to 2a.m. and become a member on the national team is because of the sacrifices my mother made.

DNK: I heard you were on the team with Ri Pun Hui.

KIM: Ri Pun Hui was also from Hamheung. From elementary school, we were members of the same sports club and that was also the case in Pyongyang. In the ‘80s Ri was able to enter many global competitions as a member of the Amrok River Sports Club, but I couldn’t because of my songbun.

DNK: How was life after you retired and got married?

KIM: My husband was a doctor. We tried to build a nice life, but in 1993 they stopped distributing rations to doctors. The entire family was about to starve to death, and relatives in Japan stopped sending money after my mother passed away.

Other women sold goods, but I couldn’t even think of it, because the only thing I knew how to do was play table tennis. In 1994, my in-laws starved to death, and the following year, my husband died. After that my father defected to China to try to get help from relatives there. He tried to make money in the markets, but that failed as well.

My seven-year-old son wasn’t able to eat properly for many days and eventually came down with typhoid that was going around in 1996. Even if we had gone to hospital there wouldn’t have any medicine, and since I wasn’t able to earn money, all I could do was let him die without even being able to feed him a bowl of rice porridge. I missed my mother. I had gone hungry for a week, and lost consciousness with my son in my arms. When I woke up in the morning, he was already dead.

I didn’t even have the energy to cry. I just sat on the cold floor and waited to die as well. I thought life was so futile, for someone who had once been a national table tennis player in Pyongyang, my life was in shambles and I had no pride left.

DNK: How did you end up defecting?

KIM: I had lost my husband and had to bury my son in the ground, so I didn’t even want to breathe in that country anymore. I went looking for my father in China and was sold off by traffickers near the border area. Because I was sold to local Chinese, I wasn’t able to set foot outdoors for five years but eventually heard my father was in Shenyang. I managed to get a ride and found my way there using the Chinese I had learned. I was able to meet him for the first time in seven years. He looked at me and said, “What has happened to my precious daughter” and cried while holding me all night.

DNK: Why did you decide to come to the South?

KIM: My father suddenly had a stroke. He had been receiving treatment for three months, but then one day told me a stroke is not something you can cure. He gave me the money he had saved and told me to go to South Korea, saying it will be better than in China since we’re of the same people. These were his parting words, and he died after refusing to take medicine I had bought, telling me not to waste any money on him. This time, in a foreign land I had to bury him with my sorrows, and I made it to the South in 2010.

DNK: Why did you decide to take part in this competition?

KIM: I never dreamed I would end up participating in a table tennis match in the South. I had such a painful fate intertwined with the sport that I didn’t even want to think about it. But, I got to know about the GPF Foundation by chance, and there, I think as they were thinking about the issue of unification, they realized helping defectors regain their pride and confidence is important. So they used the table tennis competition to try to help do that. The word pride really hit me hard, so I decided to give it a try.

DNK: This victory must feel exceptional.

KIM: I was able to win – something I never managed to do in the North -- thanks to the support of players from the South and North and other participants. It felt like I had received a second life as a gift along with the dignity that I had lost 25 years ago. I would like to show my parents the award and prize money that I won. As I was shouting and laughing while competing with South Korean players, something touched my heart. Just as the U.S. and China were able to use ping-pong diplomacy during the Cold War, I hope the South and North can also come together through the sport.